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I feel like Oprah giving out these grades. 

“You get an F!”, Ryan Tannehill, and it’s a well-deserved F, too. Did he have time to throw? Not at all, but this performance goes beyond that. The only positive he had was he was able to draw penalties on three long throws. This led to a touchdown for the Dolphins on his best throw of the game, a beautiful pass to tight end Jake Stoneburner. 

“You get an F!”, running backs, although in fairness it’s not like they were utilized by the coaching staff. Miami ran the ball 11 times for 59 yards. More on that later. 

“You get an F!”, wide receivers and tight ends, although in fairness, the best players were a wide receiver (Landry) and a tight end (Stoneburner). They scored Miami’s only two touchdowns. 

“And you get an F!”, offensive line. No protection, no push, and it’s no mystery that the Jets were able to tee off on the Dolphins on every single play. 

“And you get an F!”, defensive line. The play was atrocious outside of Ndamukong Suh, who again saw double- and triple-teams for absolutely nothing thanks to the absence of Olivier Vernon and Cameron Wake. 

“And you get an F!”, linebackers, who again found themselves out of position on just about every play. 

“Defensive backs, you get an F too!” Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker both had their way with a Dolphins secondary that seemed to fix nothing. 

“Special teams, you get a C!” Yes, Landry did muff a kickoff (but recovered), but at least they hit their extra points, plus Landry had a few great punt returns toward the end of the game that almost single-handedly kept Miami in the game. 

“And you get an F!”, coaching staff. You’d think a staff coaching for their lives would not repeat the failed game plan of the first three games of the season, yet here it was. Lack of running game? That was there. No playing time for DeVante Parker or Zach Vigil? That was there, too!

It was atrocious to watch, and considering the commonly understood definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results), I’d suggest leaving this coaching staff at Bethlehem Royal Hospital (one of the most notorious mental hospitals not just in England, but in history, which gave us the term “bedlam”) instead of having them board a plane to Miami. 

Now if only someone had drawn up the game plan Miami was supposed to run. 

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